Ready... Set... BE LAZY!

Greetings!

Welcome to the inaugural edition of The Omega Blog, home of me, The Omega Dan, a.k.a. The Last Dan on Earth, a.k.a. Random Dan, a.k.a. The Infamous DRC. Those that know me (five, maybe six people tops) should have some idea what to expect from this little venture: Truckloads of antisocial comedy, foul language, non sequiturs, poorly thought-out opinions and ideas, and lots and lots of obscure cultural ephemera. (Oh, and fancy $5 words like "ephemera.")

What it boils down to is this: I'm currently unemployed, frequently broke, and I spend most of my days watching television and surfing the internets, which means I'm fucking BORED. I need an outlet for the spastic machinations of my ADHD-addled brain. (I'm watching Electra Glide in Blue as I write this, plus taking momentary breaks to randomly bang around the net in another browser window. I almost made it through this entire parenthetical statement without stopping. Almost.)

Here's a Toyota Prius (a car you will all quickly learn I loathe for a variety of reasons to be expanded on at a later date) with a Pabst Blue Ribbon shift knob. Whoever owns this probably has a trunkload of David Foster Wallace books and Arctic Monkeys CDs. Hopefully, they were too hip to read their recall notice and will soon experience some "unintended acceleration" off the end of a pier.

Here's a promise from me to you: I will update this blog semi-regularly. I will use correct syntax and grammar. I will check my spelling. I will improve its currently-generic looks once I figure out how to work a computer. (I'm dictating this to Hermes, my trained echidna, who's typing this out with his adorable little paws. He also operates my DVR.) I will take topic requests and prompts. I will promote your band/book/movie/event in exchange for food and/or free stuff. I will not listen to reason. I will not stop until you are dead.

Whoops, turned into Michael Biehn for a second there.

Where was I? Eh, it probably wasn't important.